Chapter 2: The Other Person's Point of View

The situation from their side

Everyone has problems. Figuring that out is difficult with strangers, but don't be afraid to ask. It will open unlimited doors. The bigger the problem, the more difficult it will be to get them to at least mention it.

Get to know the friends of those you allow into your circle. It doesn't mean you need to accept them into your circle, but you should know about the people who influence those who you accept into yours.

I wish I had a chart of friends and who influences them. I can't tell you how many times I've been kept out of circles based on my perception, even when I wasn't even trying to interject into a circle. People like to put a Sorting Hat (Harry Potter) on you when they first meet you.

What matters to them

People will most often think about what's in it for them. It's not everyone. Some people love to learn new things and love to just help others. In those cases, you'll find it hard to figure out their place.

Those with this trait and ambition are even more extremely rare. When you find them, become a teacher and give them responsibilities as they grow.

There are people who love adventure, people who love to create. They often seek much higher compensation and will leave your circle if you can't provide.

What you know and what you assume

People with conflicting ideas need more clarification. If they're determined to express themselves, take the time to understand their point of view. Ask why. If they're an employer, don't be afraid to ask, but don't talk unless you have a job to fall back on. It can be very difficult to stay in your place if plans don't align.

If it's passed-down information, don't expect it to be the complete story. People don't like getting in trouble.